New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
