so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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