Where did you get a picture of my penis
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wear drunk well.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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