i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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