I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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