hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
