Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
