yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
