she kept yelling 'call me bella'
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
