I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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