I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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