haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
