why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance