In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
