Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
