Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
