My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize