She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I party with great urgency now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
