I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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