Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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