How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch