Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?