I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!