sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome