smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.