Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing