pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone