So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
