Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.