yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
