Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
