Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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