I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
