hell yes lets make some ravioli
operation harelip BJ is a go
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
