I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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