worst night to have a conscience
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
