My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
