i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
