did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
