Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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