shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
