We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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