I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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