well you can't waste a boner
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
