Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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