if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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