who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
