help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
