his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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