There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
