Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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