I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
