I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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