Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
