Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize