He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
