Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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