I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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