The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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