If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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