i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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