a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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