Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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