can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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