Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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