new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's shark week go big or go home
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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