3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
