Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
